1st post

Well, we've heard so much about Obama's Pakistan comments, Hilary's cleavage and Edwards haircuts lately that I thought it might be nice to take an in kind look at the other side. You know a "real substantive" approach to the field of republican candidates.

So here they are, your 2008 Republican hopefuls:
Mitt Romney - Mormon, was a liberal before he was a conservative. Ask to see his holy underwear.
Rudy Guilliani - Hated by firefighters and New Yorkers. Just wait till the 9/11 truth people realize that Rudy was the reason building 7 fell. All that diesel fuel on the 23rd floor - not such a good idea. Did I mention that he married his second cousin.
John McCain - Running a great campaign, the 2000 campaign. Someone needs to tell him it's 2007. What's up with the sweaters anyway.
Fred Thompson - Ya gotta be kidding me, his wife was born after Watergate and he was born during the Roosevelt administration. Of course, he was an excellent Navy Admiral when that crazy Russian Sean Connery decided to defect with that stealth submarine. don-dont
Mike Huckabee - Oh there are sooo many problems for this guy, gastric bypass, a live-in "secretary" when he was governor of Arkansas, destroyed all those computers just before leaving office and pardoned a rapist murderer. Forget the fact that he is just a creepy evangelical. This man is beyond Hope.
Tancredo and Brownback - the Rosencrantz & Guildenstern of the Republican party. Or is it the Guildenstern & Rosencrantz of the Republican party? Can't remember. It really doesn't matter which is which, They are both nut jobs.
Tommy Thompson - wasn't that a musical about a deaf, dumb and blind kid who became the Secretary of Health and Human Services under Bush. He sure plays a mean pinball.
Ron Paul - I have to say I love this guy, but he really is the Dennis Kusinich of the Republican Party. A true conservative who the party leaders wish would just go away. He keeps the debate honest and interesting

Tough year for the republicans. What happened to Bill "what insider trading from my senate office" Frist, George "macaca" Allen and Rick "man on dog" Santorum. Oh that's right, never-mind.

Of course, you'll always that muppet Newt Gingrich. I don't know, he is sooo 1994.